I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
