fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
