He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
