It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
