I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
