There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize