Sry I called you an 8
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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