So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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