You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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