I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
so much tequila, so little girl.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
