love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
