My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
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