my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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