is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
