i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
