im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I am midnight drunk by noon
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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