Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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