I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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