And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
