I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
