if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
