I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
