No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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