the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
