did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Randomize
