let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize