So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
