I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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