haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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