i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
