dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
