I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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