So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
