stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
