hotel room ftw
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
