I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
