I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Randomize
