dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
