Yo dont text me then not text me
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
