420 ftw
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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