Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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