Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
