I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You're like the curious george of whores
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
