turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Randomize
