you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Randomize
