man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Randomize
