This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Send help, water and tortillas.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
