oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
