i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
