Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
