I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
