It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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