I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
