It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
