you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize