Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
