We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Randomize
