Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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