Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
